InDaY!!!!

Super fan ako ng mga text tungkol kay Inday kaya nung nakakita ako ng blog na compilation ng lahat ng story tungkol kay Inday, kinopy ko dun ung mga story na natawa talaga ko..at eto ang mga iyon: =p

Inday, Guest sa Deal or No Deal!

Kris: Magandang gabi mga kapamilya, sa gameshow na ito importante ang sagot sa nag-iisang katanungang Deal or no Deal. Ang ating player ngayong gabi ay walang iba kundi ang fastest-rising household services manager na si Inday!

[umentra si Inday at nagpalakpakan ang mga tao]

Kris: Ok Inday, choose a briefcase.

Inday: Kris, I would opt for case #4 please.

Kris: Briefcase # 4… si Sharmel. Inday, matanong ko lang, how did you come up with the number 4?

Inday: Oh, do you really want to know Kris?

Kris: Oo naman. I’m sure kaya ko naman maintindihan yung sasabihin mo eh.

Inday: The number 4 was acquired based on a probability distribution function that involves integrating up to an area greater than or equal to that random number which should be generated between 0 and 1 for proper distributions.

Kris: Syet. tanong tanong pa kasi eh. Ok Inday, choose 6 briefcases to open.

Inday: I would opt for 7, 24, 12, 2, 15 and 20.

Kris: Wait lang Inday, usually isa isa lang ang pagbubukas natin ng case…

Inday: Why is that? As if I can change the outcome if we’re to open a case each time I blurt out a number as opposed to opening each case immediately one after the other right?

Kris: Hayyy…babaguhin pa talaga mechanics (bulong sa sarili).

Kris: Anwyay, di bale na lang nga… tuloy tayo. Number 7. Natalie buksan na!!

[Yung audience sumisigaw ng LOWER!! LOWER!!!]

Kris: Teka lang, bago natin buksan… Inday, usually ang mga contestants naten ay sumisigaw ng “LOWER” every time magbubukas ng case.

Inday: Kris, I guess that’s not the way I was taught in grade school. You see, I was taught that we should only use the comparative form of the word or add “ER” to the adjective if we are comparing two things. And since it is only the first briefcase that we are going to open, we have nothing to compare it to. Am I right?

[natahimik ang audience at napaisip]

Kris: Oo nga no! Sige Natalie, Buksan mo na.

[Ang laman ng briefcase 7 ay Piso… Palakpakan ang mga tao]

Kris: Good start! Ano yung next case mo ulit?

Inday: Case number 24 please.

Kris: Chloe… buksan na…

[Audience sumisigaw ulit ng LOWER!! LOWER!!]

Kris: Wait lang guys, Inday may nabuksan ng case baket di ka pa rin sumisigaw ng “Lower”?

Inday: Oh my goodness Kris, how long have you been doing this? Have you ever encountered a value that is lower than a peso in this game? Tell me, is there any value left lower than the one we just opened? Sheesh.

[Napaisip ulit ang audience at natahimik]

Kris: Aarrgghh!!!! Chloe buksan na lang nga, pati na rin yung 12, 2, 15 and 20 buksan na rin para matapos na. [naiirita na]

[At sunod sunod na ngang nabukas ang mga case ni Inday]

[nag-ring ang phone]

Inday: Ahh Kris, to save more time can you tell Banker that I’m not interested in his first offer. In the history of this game of chance, I have yet to see someone accept a first offer from the banker. It’s quite pathetic and pretentious for contestants to pause and look around the audience as if asking for advice before ultimately rejecting the first offer. I mean come on, isn’t that a waste of airtime?

Banker: Potahhh!!! [narinig sa set kahit sarado ang kwarto ni banker]

- Ito ang unang pagkakataon na marinig ng mga audience ang boses ni banker sa Deal or no Deal.

… dumating na sa kalagitnaan ng show at mukhang minamalas na si Inday…]

Kris: Ok Inday, mukhang kelangan na natin ng tulong sa mga friends mo… sino ba yung bigotilyong lalaki na naka-polo? Ano name nya?

Inday: Ahh, that’s my master Mr. Montemayor.

Kris: Ahhh sya pala yun, how cute naman pala eh. Sige sir, give us a number.

Mr. Montemayor: Hi Kris, good evening. I’m a fan. I choose number 22 please.

Kris: Ano Inday ok ba yung number 22?

Inday: Whatever, we shouldn’t bite the hand that feeds us anyway. Go ahead.

Kris: [taray naman] Sofie, buksan na!

[ang laman ng briefcase 22 ay 5,000]

Kris: Good job! Sino naman yung gwapong lalake na naka jumper na katabi ni Mr. Montemayor? What’s his name?

Inday: Ahh, that’s my on again off again boyfriend, Dodong the gardener.

Kris: Ooohh, sya pala yun. Ok Dodong, give us a number!

Dodong: Hi babes, I choose briefcase 9 if it’s ok with you. If not, it’s ok with me as long as it’s ok with you.

Kris: Ano raw? Inday, number 9 daw ok say0?

Inday: Yes Kris, it’s fine with me.

Kris: Wow ang bait pag kay Dodong. Ederlyn… buksan na!!

…nanlaki ang mga mata ni Inday at hindi sya makapaniwala. Natahimik at mukhang kakapusin sya ng hininga…

Inday: YOU!!! How dare you invade my moment!

[nagulat si Kris at ang mga audience sa reaksyon ni Inday. Nagpatawag si Kris ng commercial break at nagpakuha ng tubig para kay Inday.]


Nagkatitigan sina Inday at Ederlyn. Nakangisi si Ederlyn habang hawak ang briefcase ni Inday.

Ederlyn: Pinapangako ko, Inday… pagbukas luluhod ang mga tala! hahahahaha!

Inday: What? Can you speak up? What are you mumbling up there. Can somebody give her a microphone please?

Kris: Ano ba!! Tama na nga ang drama ninyo, Ederlyn buksan mo na ang case at umexit ka na kung ayaw mong mapalitan! (naiirita na si Kris)

Dali-daling binuksan ni Ederlyn ang briefcase at ang laman ay… P3,000,000.

Nanghinayang ang mga audience… Ang mga natirang values ay 250, 1K, 20K, 50K, and 500K.

Inday: NooOoo…. (sabay tingin kay Dodong at napapaluha), how could you…

Dodong: I’m so sorry Inday, please forgive me.

Kris: Hayyy, drama again. Ang offer ni banker sa pagbabalik ng Kapamilya, Deal.. or No Deal!

[pagtapos ng commercial break… mukhang composed na ulit si Inday]

Kris: Inday, are you okay? Ang offer ni banker ay 99 thousand pesos. ‘Sing rami siguro ng pilipinong pinadugo mo na ilong. Is it a Deal or No Deal?

Tahimik lang si Inday tilang may kinocompute sa ulo habang ang mga audience ay nagsisigawan ng “No Deal”, ang iba naman ay “Deal”.

Kris: Wait lang, kung mapapansin ninyo we have only have 5 cases left, and among those 5, apat doon ay mas maliit na value…

Inday: Kris, do you mind? Can I do my own thinking?

Natameme si Kris, pati ang audience ay natahimik.

Kris: Taray to the max! (pabulong sa sarili)

Inday: Ok, I’m ready. Upon looking at the reality of the situation, 80% of the cases left have at least 49K less than the banker’s offer. The only way I can do better than what is offered is that if my case contains the 500k or I’d get to open one of the four lower values. But I have to keep in mind that there’s only 20% probability that this would happen. I have to take note, however, that the banker’s offer is roughly around 15% lower than the offer I expected based on the arithmetic mean of the values left.

Kris: Lorddd… panaginip ba ‘to? Ayokonaaa….

Inday: Accepting a deal for less than the mean should generally be regarded as a weak decision so I would say, NO DEAL!

Limang briefcase na lang ang natitira at kasama na doon ang case ni Inday…

Kris: My God, nakaka-stress itong episode na ito ha. Baka dumugo na rin ang ilong ko sa’yo Inday. Sige Inday, go ahead and choose 1 briefcase!

Inday: Ok Kris, I choose briefcase #5 please?

Kris: Briefcase #5! Mimi bago mo buksan yan I would first like to thank Figliarina by Schubizz for my sandals, Bambi Fuentes for my hair and make-up and Pepsi Herrera for my gown tonight.

Kris: Ok Mimi, buk…

Inday: Ahh Kris, can I also take time to thank a few people? I mean, I did save us a few minutes of airtime right?

Kris: (“kapal naman talaga ng mukha”…bulong sa sarili) Sige, ok lang go ahead. (naka-smile pa rin)

Inday: Thanks! Yes, I would like to thank Frank Provost for my hair and make-up, Jimmy Choo for my sandals and my dear friend Oscar dela Renta for my gown tonight.

BLAG!! Tinumba ni Kris ang podium at nagwalk-out. Hindi na natapos ang show kaya’t binigyan na lang ni Banker si Inday ng kalahating milyon para sa kanyang oras.

Inday: Oh, and thanks to the people of Cartier for sending me these nice earrings for tonight!

[Ito ang isa sa mga un-aired episode ng Kapamilya, Deal or No Deal]

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Nang wala si Ma'am

SIR: Inday, wala ma’am mo, dun tayo sa kwarto..

INDAY: What?! Are you nuts??! FYI, Sir I intend to reserve my virginity for the person that I truly love! If you think I am an easy-to-get cheap slut, well you’re barking at the wrong tree! And will you please act like a professional because you’re so EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW….. if I hear any more filthy words coming from your mouth, I won’t hesitate to take legal action!

SIR: Leche, maarte ka!

INDAY: Joke lang, sir naman… TARA SA TAAS!

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Pacquiao vs. Barrera

Amo: Yan Pacman, patumbahin mo na!! Tirahin mo ng kaliwa mo, yan uppercut! Bilis matatapos na ang round! Ay grabe what a cheap shot. Duga mo Barrera porke talo ka lang…

Inday: Sir pardon my interruption but I need to send an SMS message to Dodong…

Amo: Ay pambihira ka Inday, patapusin mo man lang itong round! Teka lang…

- Nanonood ang amo ni Inday ng Pacquiao vs Barrera match live via myTV sa Nokia N77 ni Inday.

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Despedida Party

Ei guys I’m leaving soon.. I’m having my despedida party on Friday, October 12, 2007, at the Hiphop VIP Lounge Embassy, at the Fort.. I just invited a few friends so your presence will be greatly appreciated.. I will be at the VIP Lounge by 10pm… I’m really looking forward to see you there because I want to spend my last days here in Manila with you guys.. c yah!! =)

- text ni Inday sa mga friends nya kasi mgbabakasyon siya sa probinsya.

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Mani

Nagmamani: ah mani mani mani malutong mani kayo dyan oh! Limang piso lang mani kayo dyan oh!

Inday: Mr. Peanut, are those nuts cropped from a high class soil fertilized through an advanced agricultural method to produce a rich tasted appetizer which you, Mr. Peanut, dried it in a premium grade 0% fat canola oil with a low salt solution to consider those low cholesterol diet practitioner like me?

Nagmamani: Pakyu!

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Inday, Guest sa Boy & Kris

Boy: Inday, isang tanong. Diretsahan tayo. Baket ba mukhang ang lawak ng iyong pinag-aralan sa iba’t ibang larangan ng sining at teknolohiya? Ano ang nagsilbing inspirasyon sayo para gawin ito?

Inday: Boy, don’t you know how to count? Nevermind… to paraphrase Hayek, exclusive concentration on a specialty has a peculiarly baneful effect: it will not merely prevent us from being attractive company or good citizens but may impair our competence in our proper field.

Boy: Ahhh… [sabay kamot sa ulo]

Kris: Boy, pinapahiya mo naman ang show eh. Ganito dapat. Inday, what Boy meant was what made you decide to pursue the knowledge of different academic uhh … ahh subjects?

Inday: Kris my dear, it’s either you’re not satisfied with my previous answer or simply did not understand it. I’ll just assume the latter. You see, these are all simply my abiding interests and all these tributaries flow into the same river. The thought of one’s research going into ever decreasing, derivative and infertile circles, just depresses me. Getz?

Boy and Kris: [sabay nag-nosebleed at nagtawag ng commercial break]

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Bawal na ang English!

Amo: Mula ngayon, walang magsasalita ng Ingles. Ang sinumang magpadugo ng ilong ko at sa mga anak ko, palalayasin sa pamamahay na’to! Klaro ba?

Inday: Ang mga namutawi sa inyong mga labi ay mataman ko pong iiimbak sa sulok ng aking balintataw, sa kaibuturan ng aking puso, gugunamgunamin, aariing salik ng aba at payak kong kabatiran. Tatalikudan ang matayog at palalong banyagang wika, manapay kakalingain, bibigkasin at sakdal timyas na sasambitin ng aking sangkalooban.

Amo: Ay ambot!

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Gaganti ang Amo!

Overnight inaral ng amo ang dictionary para may pantapat sya kay Inday.

Amo: So inday, tell me, how do you accept the fact that you are just a mere chambermaid in this extravagant mansion?

Inday: una camarera? Eres tan pathetic. La unica razon que inscribi tu casa es porque nada esta sucediendo dentro de tu
casa cuasi-agradable. Quisiera traer una poca clase en este hogar pero conjueturo que no puedo porque esta casa es fea.

Amo: Demmet!

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FLASH REPORT!

FLASH REPORT: Inday is alive she’s not yet dead. SOCO found out that, the impostora of Inday was killed. Ederlyn (Inday’s neighbor) was the mastermind.
SOCO: Bakit mo siya pinapatay?
Ederlyn: Kasi inagaw niya sa akin si Dodong!
Inday: Mythomaniac! He was never yours.
Ederlyn: Dong, di ba mahal mo din ako?
Dodong: I never…. said… that I loved you.

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Sirang Silya

Misis: Inday, bakit mo binenta yung sirang silya?

Inday: I have computed the chair’s fair value less cost to sell, and the value in use using projections for 5 years and a pre-tax discount rate. Accordingly, the value in use is lower, so I decided to sell the chair. This in accordance with PAS18 on Revenue, PAS16 on Property, Plant, and Equipment, and PAS36 on Impairment of Assets!

Misis: ADIK ka talaga Inday!
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Sumulat si Inday sa Nanay niya

“Dear Mom,

Had it not been for the smelling salt, I must have collapsed moment ago. Junior has become a little monster to me. Remember the head accident he had? As if it wasn’t enough, he was summoned by the principal of his shabily run academe. Oh such an erudite bunch of baboons! I never lot being a governess can be such a strenuous employ.

Your daughter,

Inday”

Follow up ni Tatay —

“Dear Inday,

Walanghiya ka! Magpadala ka ng pera! Nasa ospital nanay mo, dumugo ang ilong kababasa ng pesteng sulat mo!

Tatay”

*****************************
Inday-Dodong breakup

Makikipag-breakup na si Inday kay Dodong

Inday: The statute restricts me to love you but you have the provocation. The way you smile is the proximate cause why I love you. We have some rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other because the upper household dismissed my petition!

Dodong: Perhaps you are mistaken, what you seem to contrive as any affections for you are somewhat half-hearted. I was merely attempting to expand my network of interests by involving you in my daily recreation. Heretofor, you can expect an end to any verbal articulation from myself.

May dumaan na basurero at narinig ang usapan nila Inday at Dodong…

Basurero (sabi kay Inday): Be careful in letting go of the things you thought are just nothing because maybe someday you’ll realize that the one you gave away is the very thing you’d been wishing for to stay.**fave line ko sa lahat ng inday stories..hihihi**

Narinig ang lahat ng eto ng amo ni inday.

Amo: [nagpakamatay]
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A Love Story Movie Review

It does not matter if you are the wife, or you’re the mistress. What matters is you showed your love, you experienced the joys and pain in loving. Coz from there, you’ll learn… that loving is not always easy.

- movie review ni Inday sa “A Love Story”! Bongga!

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Resto

WAITER: Ano po order nila, maam?
AMO: Yung fried chicken meal na lang. Ikaw Inday, ano sayo?
INDAY: I would like to partake of a dish of sauteed pork and chicken, boiled in thick essence of soy and cane extracts, with copious amounts of garlic, onion and laurel, sprinkled generously with fine spices and served with a generous helping of root crop and a helping of rice.
AMO: Iho, pa-order daw ng adobo with rice.

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Moment ni Manang

“Ang batayan ng pagiging mahusay na kasambahay ay hindi nasusukat sa kakayahan sa isang mahusay na pakikipagtalastasan gamit ang pananalitang banyaga. Sa halip, ito’y masusuri sa kakayahang gampanan ang pangkalahatang gawain at pagsisilbi sa taong paglilingkuran! WALA SA SALITA KUNDI SA GAWA!

-Manang, ang bagong katunggali ni Inday

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Korean Visitor

Isang araw may bisitang Korean sa mansion..

Korean: Anyong haseo, korean konsamida!

Translator: siya daw po ay isang Korean..

Amo: Aah ok pakuha Inday, paktimpla nga kami ng juice

Nagtimpla si Inday ng juice at bumalik sa kanyang amo…

Inday: Sir here’s your juice. (Iniabot din ang isa sa Korean) Hi, it’s my pleasure to bestow you this juice..

Amo: O Inday wag mo na siyang inglesin, mukhang di nakakaintindi

Inday: Anyong haseo! Inday konsamida, oppa gum nobo yi gawa Philippines? Ah ampoko.. yabuseo.

Amo: p*** ka inday lahat na alam mo!
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Source
[ang lahat ng ito ay galing sa: http://www.blogniinday.com]


Trivia:
Nakausap ko ang isang friend ko from UP Los Baños at sinabi niya sakin na 'Inday' came from a thesis of one of the students in LB. Related daw sa Sociology ung course nung student. Prang pinoprove yata dun sa thesis kung gano kabilis lumaganap ang text messages, so ginawa niya ung character na intellectual 'Inday'..at un nga..lumaganap ang istorya ni Inday..hehe..